Archive for March, 2009

SlumDog Millionaire!!

image002Now…. this is half literal and half metaphoric “Slumdog Millionaire”!! Not many guys would mind being this pup!


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There has been nothing interesting recently guys, I made my famous gajar ka halwa day before yesterday. It turned out awesome, like the last time when i made it in 4.1 or 4.2, dont remember well. Mom did agree that it was better than her version. Seems to be the dessert i make the best, followed by gajar ka halwa and that followed by cake… :D.Was thinking of a mithai bhandar in spore, what say, any financiers? Can put in chat bhandar later!! OK, will cut this crap.

GMAT classes are taking up most of the time (no bloody gals in that class!), and kind of doing some research on literature in the remaining time, not to mention applying for jobs and stuff. Alreasy running, but will be back soon. Mean while, there is power cut in hyderabad, every afternoon 2pm to 4pm, crippling me bad!! And in the remaining time, my bloody bro is busy chattin to his various friends, let him have fun. Yea, not to mention he got cought yesterday by mom and dad for having some girls pics in “my pictures” folder :D. I have no clue why dad even tried to fiddle around with the computer! It was so funny to see mom asking bro and as he was cought off guard, he gave some stupid explanation and mom got more suspicious. I LIKED IT :D. I seriously hope my dad doesn’t fiddle with my comp!! He would be a bit sorry if he does that. I cannot help him. I have my passwords and stuff, hope that will keep him at bay!!

Meanwhile, two pieces of narcissist art….

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Children & Friends!

My aunt gave birth to a baby girl yesterday!!! It is after a long time that i was seeing a newborn kid. Last time i did, i was 10 years, and it was a girl again, sister (my mom’s sister’s daughter). But then i didnt feel much. As far as i remember, I was more involved in relishing the fruits that guests bought for my aunt. I tried to touch my sister then, but I was stopped abruptly by my mom saying that I shdnt touch a new born kid! “But aunt is kissing her, u are touching her, then why shouldn’t I?” … “You should not be doing it because your hands are too dirty to touch a newborn, now go out of here and play with your brother!!” shouted my mom. I was a little bit disappointed, but soon I was busy with my brother enacting some scenes from He-Man, or some other “Man”. Happens when you are a kid.

Last memory of stumbling upon an infant was “the cafe iguana encounter” on someones bday, 3 months back . Me, Suchit, Ankur and Prachi were trying to get a reservation in Cafe Iguana when Prachi showed me an infant. The kiddo was so god damn cute and small!!  WAIT!! WTF, infant at cafe Iguana!! That kid should be 1 week old or something, IN CAFE IGUANA?! WHAT KIND OF MOM!! Me and prachi were staring at the kid and had a small discussion on the the very same topic while Ankur was a bit busy trying to get us some reservation in Cafe Iguana ( On this not, Ankur bhai, All Indians are my brothers and sisters except around 20 girls, safe side, and prachi is not in that 20 girls, so yea dont feel threatened 🙂 ). All this while, Suchit was standing beside us and would have been thinking “Kya Chootiapa baatein Kar Rahe Hain yeh Dono?!”

And yea, coming back to my aunt, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl!! As usual I was not allowed to kiss her or make any sorts of direct physical contact, but I got to carry her in my arms. She was carefully covered with a white cloth (which might have been sterilized or something). And for a moment there, I started to envy the kid. She smiled, a grace, that would brighten up the darkest pits of hell……… Before I could decipher her emotion from the smile, it disappeared into some other emotion but this smile was already incarcerated in my eyes. She was lovely!

I congratulated my uncle upon his success :P. He is my dad’s brother. Has three buffaloes in the village and a 5 acre land, think he is growing cotton this season. He and aunt were happy, but unfortunately, they did not seem to be very happy. They wanted a boy. My mom started shouting at my uncle when she came to know about this. She went to the extent of exchanging my brother (Harshavardhan) with his daughter!! (LOL, you should have seen my brother shout at this comment of hers when we came back home). Still the same old village minds, but yea, I think the situation is lot better in my family when it comes to the other houses in the village! Soon there will be a party, there is a tradition of  21st day party when the child is born. Will be going back to my village to have fun. Damn this Sun. So god damn hot.

Now a small fun game:

What would AGASTYA do if he saw a cute kid?!

(Situation: A cute kid comes into his room from neighboring apartment..)

“Do u want a chocolate? Let me buy you a chocolate naa! Wait!! Wont it be a better idea if I made that chocolate for you naa. Yes Yes, or let me see, I cant make chocolate, so we will make cookies or………” (agastya wants to be different! He wants to be recognized by the boy forever!!).

The kid will feel confused and after some time he would go to his mom and say “Mom, that big hair uncle over there, the one who has hair all over his body, the caveman uncle…..  seems to be dumb, I cant understand his language!! All he keeps saying is “naa”, should we show him to a doctor?”.

What would DEEPAK do if he saw a cute kid?!

(Situation: A talkative kid (BOY) from the neighborhood comes into deepaks room by mistake, deepak is busy on his comp)

Boy says: Hi Uncle.

Deepak: (gives the kid a glance and looks back into computer) Hi.

Boy: Uncle….., you are so tall like a tv tower!

Deepak:(looking into comp) OK

Boy: Uncle, what are you doing?

Deepak: (looking into comp) I am busy checking girls in Facebook.

Boy: OK, do you want to play with me and my friends?

Deepak: (looking into comp) I dont play games your with people of your age, and neither do i play with people of your sex now a days.

Boy: Ok, So i will leave then.

Deepak: (still looking into the computer) OK.

Deepak: (looks at the leaving boy) dude Wait !!

Boy: Yes Uncle!

Deepak: Do u have an older sister?

Boy: Yes Uncle.

Deepak: What does she do?

Boy: She goes to college.

Deepak: Boy, I think i will play with you, and from now on you can call me Bro-in-law! So lets play in you house??

What would Avinash do in similar situation?

( I should tell you avinash is one big kid lover!! and NO, hes not a pedophile…)

Avinash: Kuchi kuchi, such cuteeeee kid, come here!!

Kid: [is scared looking at him]

Avinash: You want chocolate? You want Mars bar? or do you want kitkat? Anything u like!!

Kid: [Scared to death looking at avinash’s laughter]

[ Power gone, lights gone, avinash takes out a lighter from his pocket and lights it in front of his face, looks at kid]

[Kid runs off]

[Avinash, as he is still confused why the boy ran off…. the light comes back]

[Avinash notices water all around at the place the kid was standing…. realizes the boy pissed in his pants when the lighter incident happened]

[Poor chap Avinash, as much as he loves children, he opted to stay away from them since that day]

What would SHANTY do in such situation:

Boy: Hi Uncle

Shanty: Abe udhar hi kyon khada hain, andar aaja!!

[Boy comes in, not knowing what is going to happen to him soon]

Shanty: Cigrette peeta hain? (do u smoke?)

Boy: Mummy bolti hain ki .. [before boy could complete the statement]

Shanty: Abe mummy ko maar goli!! Chal aaja sutta le….

Boy: [starts smoking]

Shanty: Daru peeta hain?

Boy: Mummy bolti…

Shanty: Abe sale, kya bola main tereku?! (slaps him on the head)

Boy: Mummy ko goli maro….

Shanty: Phir, daru laa, udhar table pe hain, serve kar, tu “shot glass” me daru daal le, mere liye woh “lassi glass” me daru dal ke de…

Boy: ok Uncle.

Shanty: Abe uncle kisko bolta hain?! Virginity lose hone se kuch farak nahi padta, shaadi hone ke baad uncle bula, samjhaa?!

Boy: Ok…. bhaiya.

Shanty: Waise tu virgin hain??

Boy: woh kya hota hain bhaiya?

Shanty: woh yeh hain ki …..  [thinks for a while] chal chod de…. i am too lazy to eplain things to you now, jaake tere biology teached se pooch kar kal batana mujhe….

What would SUCHIT had a similar situation?

Kid: Hi Uncle?

Suchit: Abe sale tune uncle bola? Koun hain tu? Andar kaise aa gaya bhai? Abhi ek ladki pati nahi, aur tune mujhe uncle bol diya?! Kya yaar!! Mujhe kuwaara nahi marna!!

wait, waise tu hain koun?

Kid: I stay in the apartment beside you, just shifted our house.

Suchit: Abe sale, ek tho Uncle bola, aur ab english me baat kar raha hain?! Dimag mat sanka, pehle hi yeh Uttar Pradesh main paida hoke thode BHAI traits aa gaye hain muj me.

Kid: Sorry bhaiya!

Suchit: Ab ja aur jyada disturb math karna mujhe, waise hi office me chapto ne haalat kharab kar rakhi hain meri, sale log. Mujhe shanti se youtube videos dekhne de!! Samjha?!


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Darr ke aagey jeet hai. Conquer fear and you can conquer anything.

Every evening in my summer holidays, me and my cousin brothers would gather around our grandfather and pester him to tell us stories. He was a very religious man. I owe all my Hindu mythological knowledge to him. He told us stories of all the avatars of Lord Vishnu in general (he being an ardent devotee of Tirupathi Balaji) and that of Ramayana and Mahabharata in specific. In all his stories, he always told made a point to tell us that all of these great legends had one thing in common, they CONQUERED Fear.

As my grandfather would explain, failure exists only in one’s imagination. We fear failure, because we fear criticism, ridicule or rejection. But the truth is that anyone who has been successful has failed at some stage of their life. From failure comes knowledge of what works and what doesn’t; from failure comes knowledge of one’s strengths and weaknesses and it’s from failure that one begins a more determined attempt to achieve success.

It is a fact that in our society we ridicule failure. Rather than encourage people to take the road less traveled, we discourage them. There is encouragement to conform to a set pattern rather than stand out in a crowd. This is why failing an exam or a new venture is feared. Fear is a paralyzing, destructive emotion, one that can interfere significantly with your physical health, mental stability or professional and social life.

Setbacks, disappointments, rejections and unsuccessful attempts can be called failures. They are steps to success. How one deals with a setback determines the success of the next step. A sudden setback can be seen as a brick wall. It can also be seen as a stepping stone. It’s the way one perceives it that determines whether an unsuccessful attempt turns into a failure.

Absolute failure is about not trying to do new things; it’s about lack of conviction; it’s about giving up.

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